No pictures because...
We found out almost a month ago that I was pregnant again. I immediately called the doctor upon finding out because I was so nervous from the previous miscarriage that I wanted to have my blood work checked and get an ultrasound scheduled as soon as possible. Within a week ( including 4 rounds of blood and an ultrasound) it was confirmed we were experiencing our second blighted ovum (empty sack) pregnancy. We were in shock. I was angry and upset and frustrated and confused. Most of all I was sad...I didn't want to go through the miscarriage process again...but it was inevitable. I medically induced my second miscarriage this past Friday. I bled for a few hours, then the rest of the weekend was as normal - my body not responding to the medication. I woke up this morning and jumped on the treadmill for 45 minutes thinking I could get things moving in my body before submitting to calling the doctor and asking for another round of the medication. Within an hour I was bleeding...like scary bleeding. Waiting until the doctors office opened so I could talk to a nurse made this the longest morning ever! I was rushing to the bathroom every 5-10 minutes - finally after talking to the nurse, they urged me to go to Labor & Delivery. (Chaz had left earlier that morning for Virginia Beach for a week for work!!) I called my MIL and SIL - and I'm so so so grateful for how they jumped in at a moments notice to help. My MIL took me to the hospital and my SIL watched my kiddos. Upon arrival at the hospital (and almost 3.5 hours after my scary heavy bleeding started) I was given a room in L&D and naturally passed almost all of what needed to be passed - and practically passed out in the process. The doctor came in, did an ultrasound and to my horror told me my body had removed everything except the empty sack. Could this torture be over already? I proceeded to have a D&C to complete the miscarriage. I rested at the hospital for a bit, but was released an hour or so after and walked out, even driving myself home. The rest of the day was a blur...my MIL got us fed, we went home and attempted to do "normal" afternoon activities, and then everyone was put to bed early because momma couldn't think about dragging out doing bedtime solo after this exhausting day.
This week made me realize how much Chaz and I are a team. I need him and he is a major piece to the puzzle that makes our family run smoothly. Not having him this week was SUPER hard (emotionally more than anything). I love him for his strength even miles away. But I was so grateful for my MIL, SIL and numerous friends who checked in on me, brought us food, offered to watch the kiddos, and sent us thoughts and prayers. God is STILL good and I DO believe He has a plan for our family and the number of children He thinks we should have. I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that I now have the same number of children in heaven as I do physically with me - I will continue to pray for those precious angels daily. Grateful for Nora and Rad this week too - they saw momma cry, a lot. And because of their joy in the small things, I was able to make it through this week.
Still trying to process all the emotions that come with a second miscarriage - especially one that seemed to drag on forever. Thank you in advance for your prayers.
March 7.
A lazy day at home while mommy tries to rest. Tea parties, costumes, chalk, and lots of books.
March 8.
We needed to get out of the house so we went to church - both looking like such big kiddos today! After church we enjoyed the spring like weather for a trip to the park. Both kiddos were exhausted and practically falling asleep at the dinner table.
March 9.
Another spring like day meant the whole morning outside. Playing at the park and the Tot Lot. Sister requested Zoes for dinner and wanted to wear her party dress.
March 10.
Started the morning with snow, so obviously we had to sit in the window and watch it. I couldn't convince them to go anywhere so we hosted the cousins for a pizza lunch date. Afternoon craft was painting pasta to look like butterflies, a trip to Target to pick out a belated birthday gift from my dad, and CFA/ice cream for dinner.
March 11.
DADDY IS FINALLY HOME!!! Yay. A trip to Storyville in the morning, Costco for a balanced lunch of hotdogs and icecream, and movie marathon that afternoon.
March 12.
Lazy day with the team. A trip to the grocery with ALL of Baltimore as we prepare for potential blizzard-like snow. Helping with chores while eating dumdums. And making homemade paleo chocolate chip cookies.
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